Buyer's Guide to Vibrators

By Mimsy Black

Our friend the vibrator has undergone a pretty amazing transformation since its invention in the latter part of the 19th century. The very first vibrator is said to have been steam powered, and Joseph Mortimer Granville’s first electromechanical vibe was originally used almost exclusively by doctors to treat “hysteria” in female patients by bringing them to orgasm on the examination table. When vibrators were finally available to the general public, ads were evasive (at best) about the usage of the devices. Women were left to masturbate in secrecy with any quivering appliance they could get their hands on.

Today, vibrators are being accepted as tool beneficial to sexual health and well-being. They come in an overwhelming array of materials, shapes, sizes, and colors. They range widely in price. For the uninitiated, selecting one can be daunting. Never fear! We assure you, there is a vibrator out there for everyone. The key is being familiar enough with what exactly is available so you can pick the vibe that is best suited to you.

Keep in mind that a large degree of trial and error can come into play as you seek out the vibrator that’s right for you. Some women enjoy a good strong G-Spot massage. Others stick to the gentlest clitoral stimulation. What sends Jane into waves of orgasmic pleasure might only be mildly uncomfortable for Mary. Try everything. That’s the only surefire way to find out what is going to give you the most pleasure. “Different strokes for different folks” is definitely the maxim that applies here. Good luck!

G-Spot Stimulators are vibrators designed with a specially angled head to aid in stimulation of a small area of spongy tissue commonly called the G-Spot. This area is actually the urethral sponge, and when you stimulate it you are actually massaging it through the front wall of the vagina. The myth of this area as every woman’s magic spot is widespread. Many women do find G-Spot stimulation intensely pleasurable, but other just find it mildly uncomfortable. Explore a bit with an affordable toy (or nature’s toy, your own fingers!) and find out if G-Spot stimulation is something worth pursuing before investing a fortune in G-Spot toys. Keep in mind that the G-Spot is only a few inches up in there: anything over 4 inches length, as with the Orchid Delight G-Spot Massager, is going to be for show only. Of course, extra-long G-Spot massagers can come in handy for other things, too… use your imagination!

Another interesting thing to remember about G-Spot stimulators is that they can do double duty as prostate stimulators when used anally by a male. If you are going to explore this option, make sure you keep your toy safe for sharing by popping a condom over the vibe before use. Toys that are going to be used in multiple orifices or shared with partners can always be used with condoms to keep them clean and prevent the spread of bacteria.

Realistic Vibrators are another option available to the sexual adventurer. These are vibrating toys, which, while obviously not being real cocks, at least resemble them in either the visual or tactile sense. There are a wide variety of synthetic “skins” being produced by various novelty companies. PassionSkin is one of the newer synthetics. Cyberskin’s younger brother, PassionSkin is velvety soft surprisingly durable. Doc Johnson offers both a “natural”-feel material with a subtle texture (see the Thin Natural- White) and a classic flesh-tone rubber for those who want the appearance of a real dick (see Classic Dong).

Be aware that realistic vibrators can get a strong reaction from men uninitiated in the pleasures of sex toys in the bedroom, due mainly to the stigma of them as “substitutes” for the real thing. If you are going to be sharing your realistic vibrator with a male partner, make sure he is comfortable with using representational sex toys lest unnecessary tension arise.

One caveat concerning realistic vibes: some realistic vibrators are coupled with a product intended to maintain the suppleness of the synthetic skin. Some of these “renewal formulas” contain talc, which has been singled out as a contributing factor in cervical cancer. Obviously, you will want to avoid using talc on any product intended for insertion. A good (and cheap) substitute is plain old cornstarch- do your toy up shake-n-bake style in a plastic baggie with some cornstarch and it should stay soft just as long.

Jelly Vibrators - Jelly is easily the most popular material out there right now, and it’s easy to figure out why. Jelly toys are gorgeous, relatively inexpensive and available in just about any color you can think of, from violet to emerald to crystal clear. Different companies call it by myriad different names: Jel-lee, Gel, Gellee, Jellie, etc. When it comes down to it they are all the same thing, rubber, and therefore have the same pitfalls as all rubber toys. Rubber is very porous and must be cleaned very thoroughly after use. Jelly rubber in particular can have a particularly strong odor that some might find unpleasant. An easy way to mask an unpleasant scent is with the addition of a scented condom or scented or flavored lube into the action. Water-based lube and rubber jelly toys are an amazing combination!

Waterproof Vibrators – The most popular material for waterproof vibrators is rubber jelly, but there are waterproof vibrators to be found in almost every material. A popular option is the standard 6” waterproof massager in the classic, hard plastic style like California Exotic’s Waterproof 6”. This versatile little number can be paired up with any sleeve for endless possibilities. Suction cup mounts, like the one included with models such as the Doc Johnson SpectraGel Beaded Vibrator, are also a popular accessory to waterproof toys. Choose one with a good suction mount and you can attach your vibe to the shower wall for a little hands-free fun.

A caveat concerning waterproof toys: many toys that are labeled “waterproof” are actually merely water-resistant, meaning you shouldn’t submerge them in water. Look for a rubber seal around the battery door and be careful with your water toys. Read the fine print on the box, and and give ‘em a test run in the shower before you toss ‘em in the tub.

Traditional Vibrators like the Kobe Personal Vibrator are also referred to as slimline or cylindrical vibrators. One of the nice things about this particular type of vibe is their versatility. Classic style vibrators are the natural choice for beginners who want something relatively unintimidating to use in exploring new sensations in their nether regions. They can be used alone or with a stimulator ring like the Figure 8. Many people enjoy using two cylindrical vibes at once: one for insertion and one for external stimulation.

Traditional vibes are usually very affordable, and come in an infinite array of colors, patterns, and sizes. Finding one that looks appealing should be no problem. If in doubt, go with a 6 to 8 incher in your favorite color. Most vibrators of this type are going to operate with a multi-speed dial. Generally, a good indication of how powerful a classic style vibe is going to be is the number and size of batteries it takes. A model that runs on 3 Cs is going to blow away a model that takes a pair of AAAs in the power department. Keep in mind that maximum power is not necessarily what you are looking for. Some folks find intense vibrations of the type provided by classic style vibes to be numbing. Experiment and find out what gets you going.

Mini Vibrators is a surprisingly diverse little group. The ideal choice for the gal on the go, these tiny, travel-friendly vibes are available in many colors and styles. Finding one that you can discreetly pop in your purse is a snap. There are tiny finger models like the Fukuoku Finger Vibe and waterproof models like the Mini Marvel.There just might be a tiny version of your favorite toy!

There is also a wide array of distinctively shaped little massagers that bear no resemblance to a traditional vibrator whatsoever. These mini vibes are easily concealed in a dresser drawer or purse and come in distinctive little shapes that deliver the goods without screaming, “I’m a sex toy!” And mini-size doesn’t have to mean mini-vibrations: there are a number of models that feature big vibe power in a compact case. The most popular vibes of this type are Doc Johnson’s Pocket Rocket and it’s quieter cousin the Silent Rocket. The little guys weren’t built with insertion in mind, but they pack quite a punch in the clitoral stimulation department.

Deluxe Rabbit Vibrators originated in Japan, and continue to grow in popularity. These vibes usually resemble traditional insertable vibrators, but with an extra external “branch” that tickles the clitoris when the vibrator is inserted. The clit stimulator often takes the shape of a cute little critter of some kind. A classic example of this is the ever-popular Jack Rabbit,which has a rotating beaded shaft and clit-pleasing ears.

Luxury Vibrators - This is my favorite category of vibes: beautiful, innovative, exciting, these luxury vibes are not your mother's sex toys. Some of these luxury vibes might appear a bit pricy, but their worth every penny in quality and effective design. As demand increases, novelties manufacturers are starting to produce higher quality, more thoughtfully designed toys with multiple functions.

Wand-Style Vibes are gaining in popularity as novelty companies continue to modernize their product lines. Wands can be clinical looking and multi-functional like the Gerbil or they can be cute (and more obviously for sexual purposes) like the Luv Touch Flexa Pleaser - in hot pink. A very popular wand, the Hitachi Magic Wand, considered the cadillac of vibrators, has a bulb shaped tip for massaging those special spots. Some long, slim wands make excellent external massagers and do a mean job vaginally as well, but should be used with great care anally as they lack the flared base or large control box on the end that ensure they don’t “slip away”. Some wand style vibes, like the Gerbil, have large control boxes or battery packs at one end and therefore can be safely incorporated in anal play.

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