Anal Play for Women

By Alicia Guinn from Babeland

People of all genders and sexualities enjoy anal play, and they enjoy it for the reason you might expect—it feels great! Our butts are erogenous zones that contain tons of sexy nerve endings. Men can also access their prostates (also called the male G-spot or P-spot) through anal sex. So what’s in it for women?

We’re often told that different parts of women’s sexual anatomy have different roles: the clit does this, the vagina does that. But the truth is that our genitals all work together as one holistic system, and our butts are part of that system. In women the PC muscle, the pelvic floor muscle that contracts and releases with orgasm, is shaped like a figure eight, with one loop around the vaginal opening and one around the anus. And all of our sexual anatomy is packed together is a fairly small space, which means that some women report feeling indirect G-spot stimulation during anal sex.

And remember, sex incorporates our minds as well as our bodies. Some folks get off on anal play because it’s taboo, while others love trusting someone else with a super-sensitive piece of their anatomy.

Go Out and Play! Here at Babeland we like differentiate between “anal play” and “anal sex.” There’s a whole world of thrilling anal fun to be had that doesn’t necessarily include intercourse with a penis or dildo. Playing with fingers, tongues, and small toys is a great way to start exploring anal play. Treat a partner to an external anal massage by pulling on some sexy black latex gloves and picking out some super-slick lube. Or try out rimming, also known as analingus or “tossing someone’s salad,” which offers unique, gentle, mind-blowing sensations. You can use a dental dam during rimming to keep everything extra-safe and clean.

Pain = No Gain. There is a right way and a wrong way to go about anal sex. The wrong way involves ignoring pain and “pushing through” it to reach the goal of anal sex. Our butts are made of sensitive, fragile tissues, and pain is a signal from your body that something is going wrong. Anal sex should never, ever hurt. If it does, your body is telling you to relax, slow down, and be patient.

Practice Makes Perfect. Anal play is a learning process, especially if your goal is anal intercourse. Education is crucial! Check out a book like Anal Pleasure and Health or an article like How to Have Butt Sex. Tristan Taormino has taught more women how to have and love butt sex in her DVD the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and a book by the same name.

The basics of anal sex, however, are simple. Remember the butt mantra "relaxation, lubrication, communication" and you should be happily enjoying fun, pleasurable anal play in no time:

• Relaxation is crucial to anal play. Two anal sphincters surround and protect the anal opening. If you make friends with these muscles and learn to relax them, you’ll quickly discover why folks love anal play. Remember, if you feel any pain or discomfort at any time, slow down and relax!
• Lubrication protects delicate anal tissues. It also makes yummy sensations even more delicious. Because butts do not create natural lubrication (like vaginas), lube out of the bottle is absolutely required. We love Maximus, which is thick, glycerin-free, and water-based; and Eros Bodyglide, a super-slick silicone lube.
• Communication is another method of protecting yourself and your partner. Especially if you’re just starting to explore anal sex, it’s important that the partner being penetrated is always in complete control of what’s happening – how fast, how much, how deep. Connect with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t!

Get Out the Toy Box. There are lots of great toys made especially for anal play. Butt plugs are made to go in and stay in—hands-free! Anal beads create a unique opening-and-closing sensation. Dildos come in lots of shapes and sizes. The Silk series is slim and smooth, perfect for anal play. The Mistress is also slim but longer and with a wider base. A great toy to put in a harness. The Flip and Romp (my very favorite butt toy!) are unique, sensually-designed anal toys. There’s more toy advice available at How to Choose an Anal Toy.

Double the Sensation, Double the Fun! Anal play offers the possibility of double penetration. In this context, that means simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration. Slipping in a butt plug like the Little Flirt during sex can feel heighten the heavenly sensations you already enjoy. The Menage a Trois Harness Kit also provides intriguing possibilities for double penetration.

Booty Caution. There’s one more common sense guideline when it comes to women and anal play. Toys, hands, lube, and penises that have gone into the butt should never go directly into the pussy. Butts carry bacteria that can cause infection in the vagina and urethra. Some people like to keep baby wipes or a wash cloth handy during anal play in case lube starts to stray where it shouldn’t.

Think Outside the Box. But wait, women aren’t always the receivers in anal sex! The Bend Over Boyfriend phenomenon, also known as pegging, has introduced lots of folks to the idea of women exploring their male partner’s world of anal delights. Strap-ons stir up all sorts of exciting possibilities and question fundamental assumptions about who’s doing the fucking and who’s getting fucked. Sound enticing? Read more at How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend.

Enjoy!

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