Why Do People Cheat
Is One Partner Not Enough?

Men are dogs. Ok, some men are dogs. I have been cheated on, time and time again. See, I think they just get bored or something of that sort, because even now mine has been caught trying to do more than window shop. And each time it was with one that was bigger than I. So be happy with yourself, and to hell with them.. Besides, we can live without them. That is why we have hands and they made vibrators...   —Rena

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.   —Ken Hammond

Here is entertainment without really cheating:

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From Joe
My girlfriend cheated on me last week, I found out because I went to her apartment and was just about to knock on the door when I heard her moaning, so I went outside and peeked in her window and saw some guy on top of her on the couch, she had her legs up on his shoulders and he was just plowing away at her. He had a huge penis it was at least 9 inches long and really thick, at least twice as big as mine. He didn't even have a condom on and we have always used one, we have been together two years now. They did it for about 20 more minutes then he came in her.

 I haven't told her I know she is cheating but just watching them I could see how much better sex with him must be, I know he stretched her a lot, the next day she only wanted oral and she told me to suck it gently so I know he hurt her.

From LeRoy
I have been married for 33 years and have fantisized about other women and have even went on lunch/dinner meetings/dates with female colleagues at work who have suggested we get together. Well what in hell would it be called getting together. I refused to get physical but the conversations are very provocative and interesting to say the least.

My wife has the sex drive of a toad. She has become physically unattractive and her health has went to hell because of poor decisions made from doctors telling her what to do. I have been fortunate to be in relatively decent health, I walk and exercise, she won't even walk. I've asked her repeatedly to walk with me and talk. We don't have sex because she either doesn't care to, or if we do she makes a comment like "I'm gonna just lay here, you do the work". Wow, what a sensual thing that is. No wonder I have ED.

When I read these posts about why men cheat I find one comment used most regularly. "BOREDOM" I couldn't agree more with a saying I read recently, a quote from mother or grandmother to daughter "if you don't take care of your man, someone else will". I use a different shake in business that's on the same note. "If you don't take care of your customer someone else will". I'm in my twilight years of working and refuse the thought of divorce. It would change my life drastically.(financial and mental)

I've been intimate friends with my right hand for almost all of my married life and will most likely continue that relationship. My wife would be revolted if she knew. She used to use sex as a tool to get the things she wanted, that quit working a long time ago. It really pissed her off. Looking back I should have changed direction 25 years ago, but hindsight is 20/20 and we can't change the past.

To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question and cheating is not the answer. Men choose your spouse carefully, and never get married if you like variety, unless you get a rare women who understands how to keep things interesting.

From Gigit
My first husband got his secretary pregnant with twins. My second husband was much older than me and became disinterested in sex because I had gained weight and he wanted a "better target".  Needless to say, it was years before I got back in the game as my self-esteem was too low to feel sexy.  The icing on the cake was when I got breast cancer and had a mastectomy at age 47!  I never expected to find a man who would ever be interested in me, despite the miracles of modern plastic surgery.

Well, I decided to re-invent myself and start on-line dating.  Somehow when I got all dressed up and became the new persona, I felt and acted sexy!   At this point I was 50 years old, a few extra pounds, and one fake boob, but I had more dates than I could handle!  They were all married men.

These were handsome, sexy, professional men; and they were all up front about their marital situation.  Most had been married for over 20 years, the kids were grown and out of the house, and their wives just weren't interested in them anymore!  All I had to do was flirt, listen, and treat them like they were the sexiest man I had ever met.  I listened to their fantasies, and, if possible, I made it happen.  For the first time in my life, I was in control, I was sexy, desirable, and getting what I needed.

Women should know that their husbands cheat because they want to feel like a sexy stud again.  Their bodies are 50, but in their minds, they want to perform like they are 20 again, and many do that first time!   Almost every man told me that their wives no longer give blowjobs, and certainly never swallow, so I did!  I love oral sex performed on me, so I shaved smooth and wore sexy lingerie; men love that!

The thing is that men are just as romantic as women, have a rich fantasy life, and most truly love their wives.  If/when they cheat, it is 1-2 times, and they feel so guilty that they quit. I was told many times that I remind him of what he "once had" at home, and he was going to try again.  I listened, then happily sent them back home.  Many are still email friends, nothing more.

Men cheat for different reasons than women do, but that is another story. 

I certainly don't advise women to take the route that I took.  Mine was a unique situation and perhaps what I needed to validate my own sexuality.  If you are just looking for one-night stands without any drama, you will do well with married men.  I made the mistake of falling in love and after 4 years, he still has not left his wife.

From Alexis
For the last 17 years of my life, I have been with the same man. Getting up at 4 a.m. to fix his breakfast, lunch and send him off to work. At 5 p.m. his dinner was waiting on the table. House and clothes cleaned and pressed. Kids taken care of. Anytime he wanted sex I was there for him, but he would come home and start an arguement so he could storm out to be with his ever changing flavor of the month. Not coming home till it was time to go to work and expecting his breakfast and lunch to be ready to go.

Insulting me became a hobby too thin, too fat. His complements would be, you're not the best and you're not the worst. You're not the most beautiful but not the ugliest. And when I would be sad or cry because of the hurt. He would laugh. 

Three years ago I got a new job and met a wonderful man who made me laugh and would tell me how beautiful my smile was, and how he could see my smile long after I was gone. He told me that he wanted to do things with me he had never done before and couldn't figure out why he want to do those things. He is married and his wife was having an affair. (misery loves company) His wife would tell him that when he made love to her it made her sick to her stomach. 

We became close friends. We could read each other's thoughts, finish each other's sentences. We helped each other through deep depression. Then one day we ran into each other coming around a corner and it startled me and made me scream. He hugged me, from there it became stolen kisses and etc.... he told me he was in love with me and I fell hard for him. 

We spend all the time we could Monday thru Friday together. New Years Eve we spent 4 hours together. Right after New Years we spent the night in a motel. As of today my special friend got a new job and goes from state to state. I have not seen him since before Easter. This was hard on me and one night I broke down and told the man I live with that I loved another. He looked at me and shrugged and said I should have left with him.( by the way I own the house) 

My friend gave me back someone I had lost along time ago and that was ME. I know in my heart it was wrong, but after years and years of trying and trying to find love in someone who just want everything from me and not giving anything back in return and cheated on me every chance he got. 

I don't feel remorse, guilt or regret. Today I feel alive because of the affair. I was not looking for an affair, it just happened.

From Rob
Wives cheat as well as husbands and it's a symptom of a bigger problem in the marriage - lack of love and respect, lack of interest in sex, lack of honesty. If there is a problem some open discussion is crucial and that's what my wife and I did a few years ago.

We're in our late fifties and married for almost 30 years, and two years ago I found myself facing an awful fact - my wife, Jen, had lost complete interest in sex with me. I ended up having sex with hookers in motels, then discovered Jen was having an affair with an old family friend, a younger guy. After a massive argument we calmed down and discussed what we were to do. The discussion revealed that she was still in love with me (despite the lack of interest in sex), didn't want a divorce, didn't want to destroy the 'happy home'. The problem, she said, was that she didn't like having sex with me. 

After discussing that particular news for a good hour, we came to the view that we should consider partner swapping. Jen wasn't keen, believing it to be very tacky, but said she'd give it a try. That was two years ago and today we are two very happy swingers, our sex is with the couples we meet but we are back on track with a very happy and stable marriage, re-inventing ourselves with a new lifestyle that suits us both, one that doesn't include either of us cheating.

From Jack
For the same reason women cheat - we're horny and needy. But I don't think men cheat any more than women, and it does get old hearing over and over that men are the cheaters. A little balance would be nice.

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