Losing Your Virginity

Fiction Versus Reality

I was reading a few romance books to take my mind to another place. One thing I noticed was that when these women lost their virginity, the pain only seems to surface for a second before the feeling turns into earth shattering pleasure.

After I read through a couple, I noticed that almost all of the romance books are like this. However, when I read other types of literature, I learn that this not true. The woman usually doesn't have a whole lotta fun and it takes a couple of tries to get the earth shattering feeling that these romance women get in just a few seconds.

For the sake of my characters in future stories, my questions to everyone:  Is there nervousness or is it possible for a person going through her/his first experience to know what they're doing? (Realistically?)

Did anyone out there have romance book type experiences where the guy knows what he's doing to the the woman when it is her first time? Did the pain turn to pleasure ever so quickly as stated in the pages of the books I read? Is any of that true? When you read this type of literature, does it come across flaky or real?

How about the guys? Men are almost always portrayed as knowledgeable and experienced. We know that's hardly the case. Don't be shy, tell us: were you nervous, uncomfortable, was your partner helpful, or scornful?    —Alyn Rosselini

I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move.   —Madonna

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From Dan
I've made love to three virgins.  I report this because each girl responded so very differently, both sexually itself and in their pain/pleasure ratios. I lost my virginity with the first girl who lost hers then while I lost mine. She basically just wanted to "do the deed" and the hell with it. As I was penetrating her the first time she yelped a little, I stopped - guys, isn't THAT hard to do ? - and asked her if I should stop.  She just gritted her teeth and said "do it." Not very romantic at all! I remember thinking if this was what sex was like for a woman why would she bother? So I "did it," and got all the way inside her. About all I can say about that and her was that for me it was simply better than no sex at all.

The second virgin was an orgasmic virgin - married a year or two, no orgasms, again I wondered, what the hell? However, the first time we got together, I was able to play her a lot, touching kissing exploring every inch of her, looking at her, telling her how beautiful she was, how pretty her pussy was, etc.(All of which was true - guys, DON'T fake those things - just shut up if you can't be positive ) She was very responsive when her breasts were sucked so I made sure her nipples were as erect as they could get. I tried to give her a manual orgasm - at the time I was not skilled enough to make sure my partner could have an "O" with me inside her, but she only got close - very close. Pussy very wet, slippery, body rising and straining up, bathed in a pink glow - truly a beautiful, erotic sight - and sound - as she gasped and moaned - then she collapsed on the bed, panted out "you go ahead - I'm frigid or something."

I had just been watching a beautiful woman in the throes of passion who tells me she's "frigid or something?" Impossible! But of course I "went ahead," her enjoyment was obvious under me, and MY pleasure was CERTAINLY obvious.  The upshot of the whole thing is the next day when we got together I was able to prove to her she was NOT "frigid or something" - I think her "frigidness" was nervousness the first time we got together.  From that point on the sex with her was great! And the guys will know what I say here, it's a great sex/ego charge for the guy when his partner is out of control and lost in pleasure he is able to give her!

The third virgin was both orgasmically unaware and physically a virgin.  What a challenge! I was determined we would have no attempt at intercourse until she knew from her personal experience what it was like to have an orgasm. It took us maybe three months before one day she asked to do it.  I sent her to the doctor, I also went to my doctor, we both got checked out for various bad things as I wanted to come inside her and not in a plastic bag inside her, she got on the pill and maybe a month later we began trying.  Oh, was THAT trying! She was VERY tight and I'm, in this case a bit unfortunately, larger than most guys. So I had to take it slowly.  As in a week of trying. I cannot speak for her, but my sexual energy was clearly being put to the test as the days went by! Each time we tried it hurt her and I would not and did not press on. 

We gradually got closer and closer, she had orgasm after orgasm day after day, but only from my hand or mouth. Penetration? Frustration on my part.  She did suck me to keep me a bit happy, which of course DID keep me happy, but, sheesh, what a trial! Then finally one day she gasped - "you're close, I think you can get all the way inside me now." I pushed slowly, slowly, slowly, then she was opening for us and we made it! Afterward, much relief and satisfaction for ME, and pleasure and relief for her! And the cuddles and appreciation of each other were great!

That was the beginning of a ten year connection. Then she had an accident and died. Sorry about the bum ending, but that's what happened. I kinda think virginity is over rated!

From Anonymous
I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to an older guy. I was at his house and we were just chillin', watching movies. We started talking and I suggested that the movie was boring so he turned it off. We started kissing and engaging in foreplay (which was interesting)..we stopped and he asked me if I was a virgin..I told him yeah.  So he said what's up? and I was sitting there like wtf...after a minute or two of silence we engaged in foreplay again...so he asked me if he could be my first...so I was like I don't know. So he said you always remember your first...so I gave in and I lost my virginity that night.

After the first few minutes of pain...it hurt so much I had to scoot back on the bed so I could breathe for a second. He didn't get in all the way and we didn't have an orgasm, but I bled.

My first time is something I'm not too proud of because I felt that I should have waited for that special person. I cried a lot that night...he wasn't anything to me and I wasn't anything to him either.

From Stacy
I was 14 when I lost my virginity.  To be honest, it was with a guy I had just met (he had no idea I was a virgin).  A total one night stand.

I was (and still am) an avid reader of romance and erotica stories so I was expecting fireworks and for the earth to move.  None of that happened and I was highly disappointed. 

Highly disappointed that is, until I met my steady high school sweetheart about a year after I lost my virginity.  He was the first one to bring me to orgasm.  The earth really did move and I really did see fireworks.

I've LOVED sex ever since.

My husband (no, I didn't marry my high school sweetheart) and I have been married for almost 16 years now (he's a much older man...14 years older than me) knows EXACTLY how to push my buttons and get me off....he did from the very first night we slept together.

From Carrie
For me it happened early, (14 years old). He was 19 and my brother's friend. I developed at a young age and looked about 17. He came over to visit my brother while no one was at home but me in my swim suite. When the time came, I was fully aroused and it only hurt a few seconds, then felt wonderful. Not much pain and only a small amount of blood.

After that night I felt somehow like a woman instead of a girl. The first time was with no condom but after that, went on the pill. I have always had a very strong desire for sex and have had my full share of men. Every girls first time should be as enjoying as mine.

From Sarah-Jane
I was going steady with this chap from college and we had sort of decided that we were almost ready to move our relationship on. My mom - ironically - had been pressing me to "do the deed" as she reckoned that it would do me good to get it out of the way, I think she thought I would get married for the wrong reasons without a bit of life experience. Whilst I didn't want a casual fling and was also quite shy, what I really feared was the loss of control and being taken for granted.

But he was such a sweet guy. One day while I was home for the holidays I went to the well woman clinic and got on the pill. While we were making out once before our break I had promised him that if he waited until I was ready I would be sorted - I felt and told him that "I wanted his stuff inside me" but couldn't say the real word. Then the next Sunday we were doing our French tutorials in his dorm and I slipped him a note that said, "Take down my panties." My heart was pounding and he looked at me. I nodded furiously. He stood up and took my hand and led me over to the bed. He pushed his hands up my skirt and pulled my panties down to the floor. I wagged my head to show him I wanted him to keep going - I couldn't speak - and within a few seconds he had me naked. I dashed into bed and he followed - I was too shy to look at him undressing.

He began to kiss me and suck my nipples. We had done this before but the reality of what was coming made it even more powerful than usual, and by the time he started to finger me I was oozing and I couldn't keep my legs together. I was getting embarrassed and so pulled him on top of me. A bit of fumbling from him and I felt his hard bit pressing and then after a bit of a wincing ouch! he stretched me open as he slid in. He apologized and said he wasn't going to last very long and I mumbled that was fine - I wanted him to finish inside me. Then he thrust into and out of me about six times and groaned and his back went rigid and then I felt it - spurt, spurt, spurt of semen - I could articulate the word - filling my muff. Afterwards he dozed and I gazed at him with a heart full of love and womanly pride, and a womb full of a man's sperm!

From HxC
I lost my virginity last night. I'm more or less naively in love with a guy two years older than me.

It started out at a concert at which I sang with my High School Choir. We sucked and I really wanted to leave. The park was right next door, so me and him walked around for a bit. My mother was there and it was about 8 something. My boyfriend told her she could leave, that he would drive me home if she wanted. she agreed so we stayed and played on the play equipment. It was so much fun. That is until his mom came and it began to get cold.

His mom drove up saying that he parked in a handicap zone and he had been towed; that wasn't the case. We then entered his car, me thinking we were going home, once again that was not the case. instead of going straight we made an 'unexpected turn'. "That's how you fake a mommy person" he said as he parked the car at the same empty park.

We then proceeded to make out in the front seat, touching grabbing whatever. We then made our way into the back seat. He laying me down and me making sure to claw that right spot on the back bottom of his neck.

He asked me if I was sure he was the one. I said yes with out hesitation. He asked me again if I was sure, I thought about it and replied yes again. He took a condom out of his wallet and put it on his member. He slipped my pants off and proceeded to enter me. It hurt soo bad.  Less than I thought it would but hurt none the less.

He was going too fast and I was to the point of crying. I had whispered 'baby it hurts' he whispered back I'm sorry slower?' I shook my head. He then went slower. After a few moments the pain subsided and this slight feeling of pleasure washed over me. he rest of the time was filled with I love you's and silent sighs. That is until my phone rang.

Of course it was my mother asking where I was. I told her we were at subway. I hung up and we went at it again. It hurt in a way but still felt good. I was getting to the point where it felt REALLY good, but yet again the phone rang this time it was his mom warning him of traffic checks off of 601.

We decided that we should stop for the moment. We got up and redressed, and realized we were in his G-ma's car and couldn't find the condom wrapper. I thought it was funny. We both got flashlights and found it. We left for my house and along the way he said "this is the weirdest feeling in the world" I asked him "what" it kinda scared me but then he replied "it's going down and I still have the condom on and it's rolling up" we laughed and he took it off in the car while driving and threw it out the window. The funniest thing ever.

After that we held hands and both of our songs came on. He told me he loved me and that he's never hurt me. I said "promise" he looked me dead in the eyes at a stop light and said "promise" as powerful and honest as he could.

He told me he 'promised himself to me right to the day we got married at sunset at that park at the beach me and my purple tux and you in that dress with the purple on it. And I swear to you you'll look beautiful'

I remember ever word everything and I always will. it was exactly how I wanted it and I love him even if I am young and possibly naive

From Trisha
I lost my virginity at 14 to a slightly older boy. Well, he was big and I was really tight and it hurt like hell, even with lube. I would have never thought that it would become so pleasurable. Each time we had sex it hurt less, until it didn't hurt at all. I am now 36 and it seems like I am horny all the time. And yes, I do like a well endowed man.

So to all the girls, yes it might hurt some but after a few times you're going to love it!

From Sammie
 I lost my virginity when I was 15 years old about 3 years ago and I must say that I am now addicted to sex. I was at home and my sister's boyfriend, who was 25, came to visit. He and I played around for a while until he accidentally touched my breast. I was scared and excited at the same time.

Later that night after everyone went to sleep, he came to me while I was sitting on the couch. He took his hand and started touching my breasts. I began to get wet and horny. I was also very curious how sex felt, so I took his dick out and started to give him blow. Then I asked him to fuck me and I lied on my back and he slowly entered my vagina. I surprisingly felt slight pain, and so he continue to push harder into me. The feeling was remarkable so we continued for about an hour. He came in my mouth and ever since then we became closer.

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