Real Cyber Experiences

I don't want anyone to feel sad, or feel that it's a lonely existence indulging in this type of play. It can be very exciting, fun, creative, a real learning experience - discovering what really excites you, what you want, how you feel about things. My lovers and I have discussed everything from their marriages, their work, religion, kids, death, you name it. Sure I want to meet someone in real life someday;  have a husband again - I loved being married. But for now, this is a way to grow, to learn about myself, to rediscover what makes me happy - something I wasn't for a long, long time.

What are your cybersex experiences? —Cathy

Are you curious? Try the following:

• Friend Finder, a safe dating community for fun, friendship, and romance. Post a free ad with photos, mingle in chatrooms, watch video intros, meet your soulmate at Friend Finders. You can even create your own Blog (it's easy!) to share with people you've met on FriendFinder. Find your special someone in your city or anywhere in the nation at Friend Finders.

• Senior FriendFinder is a popular community and personals site where people of a certain age meet for friendship and romance. It's free, it's easy, and it's never too late to fall in love, or enjoy sizzling hot sex with that special someone (or twosome, or moresome!)

From Anonymous
About a month ago I started a cybersex relationship with a younger guy. We met when he came to our house to buy a bike from my husband, and it was actually my husband who joking around told his guy I said hi. This started out with innocent flirting, then after about a week became very intense and sexual.

I felt so liberated to express myself sexually. And it is such a turn on that a younger, hot guy wants to have sex with you, but that is where problems arose, I only intended to email, send pictures, receive pictures. But I became more curious, and wanted to try phone sex, he wanted to met in a hotel and actually have sex.

I was tempted and thought about it. I never cheated on my husband and never thought I would but the experience was so hot, so intense and I constantly thought about sex. Anyways his girlfriend found out and we had to end the relationship, at first I was actually very sad but then as time went on relieved.

I do have to say that the experience was rewarding, my husband and I have more sex, and he is more attentive sexually. We went from having sex once a month to every day this past month and it has been great. Also my own self esteem and confidence was boosted. The only bad thing is that I thought my cyber lover was in his mid-20's but turned out he was only 19! He looked older, was in very good shape, and was very huge. I still like to think he was at least 23 when I fantasize about him.

My husband and I look forward to my next cybersex relationship, but this time I'm more aware not to get so caught up and agreed to tell my husband if I start to become tempted to actually met my next fantasy.

From Anonymous
I have just recently emerged, not unscathed, from my first and only cyber relationship. We met on an erotic story site and within two private messages, I swear, you could actually hear the "click." We were immediately involved in an incredibly hot, intense sexual relationship - e-mails and instant messaging, and photo exchanges. I'm sure we would have eventually gotten to the phone as well.

This relationship became a huge part of my life - the high that I got when I got an e-mail from him was just incredible. The sex was unbelievable - we were so compatible, everything he wanted to do, I wanted to do and vice versa. And, yes, we talked too - we were really getting to know one another - I felt as though I could say anything to him without fear of judgement or ridicule. I had wonderful fantasies of actually meeting him someday, but I knew they would always remain fantasies - I'm married and intending to stay that way, besides the distance of over 1,000 miles separating us.

Two weeks ago, he e-mailed me to say that he was talking with an old girlfriend and it looked as though they were going to get back together, so he had to discontinue the sexual part of our relationship (we still talk, but only about "safe" subjects). Well, to put it mildly, I was absolutely devastated and I'm still pretty much a mess inside about it. The first week was a nightmare - I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep even though I was exhausted from the stress of "keeping up appearances", and I cried continuously when I was alone.

We had only been together for 6 weeks, believe it or not, but the relationship literally became the most important thing in my life, and then I had it ripped out from underneath me. It was awful - it's still awful - I've never missed anything or anyone so much in my whole life. It's incredibly hard to talk to him now that I can't say what I really feel any more, but I am unable, at this point anyway, to give him up. I continue to hope that he and his girlfriend decide not to pursue a reconciliation and that he will come back to me, because (I am ashamed to say) I would resume our relationship in a second.

So I guess this is a tale of caution to others engaged in a cyber relationship. They are very, very real and can progress so quickly to such a high level of intensity. I'm an over 40 adult and told myself I was going into this with my eyes wide open - until I actually got blind-sided. Take care.

From David
Experience has taught me that web relationships can be a very fulfilling aspect of one's life, so long as they are entered with eyes wide open. Potential for pain exists at every turn, and something that seems as superficial fun initially can deepen to a reality that takes careful management. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that a type of pain is almost inherent within cyber relationships. It is the pain of physical separation from someone with whom we are becoming emotionally very close.

Personally, I only allow myself to develop a relationship based on a genuine, growing, unconditional friendship. A friendship that accepts and appreciates the reality of the other person, and embraces them as a real person with a real life. If you feel resentment at the time they need with their family, or jealousy at some real-life relationship that you knew existed from the outset, or insecure about the times they can't be online because of other commitments... then relationships on the web, at least those of any depth, are not for you.

If you can see the other person as a real person, with real feelings and all of the complexities and emotional ups and downs of a real life, then the potential to share depths of yourself that you may never have shared with anyone can become quite an amazing experience. And the sexual exploration has the potential to be both very hot and fulfilling. But if you are driven by obsession or addiction and can see no further than the need for sexual gratification, then more often than not the end result will be pain. Feelings of jealousy, distrust, resentment.. that kind of insecurity will grow and consume. Friendship will transcend that superficiality and let you really enjoy the time you do have online. And to accept hard realities, such as the fact that you may actually never meet.

From Beware
I'm glad so many people have found the cyber experience to be a great...I just want to warn people that not everyone plays nice or is normal.

My story starts when I was just playing around, talking and flirting on line. I started a steady e-mail with someone on an adult site, we both got off and continued to send messages over a three week period. She wanted a picture and to meet...something kept putting me off...Finally, I sent her my phone number...I didn't hear anything from her, she said she would call me and give me her number so we could hook up. 

One morning at 5:00 a.m. I got the call I had been promised...she could call me because her husband had been home and return to work that morning. I said I wasn't comfortable with the whole situation and we could e-mail, friends that sort of thing...she went into a rage and said she would decide when it was over. She hung up and started calling my house all hours, when I wouldn't answer, I started getting calls from adult phone lines, asking for me and offering their services. When I received the call from an escort service I changed my phone number.

There are great people out there, I prefer to meet them in person, cyber is a fantasy place where people can disguise who they are and their real intentions.

From Anonymous
Well I'm a straight man, but I have this obsession with lesbians. So I play world of warcraft, quite a bit, and one day I made a female night elf on an RP server (this is role-playing, where you treat the game as real life) I did this just to have fun, and act a little like a girl when I can't do it in real life. So on my RP channel, we had a conversation about how men always hit on the female night elves. I said I didn't like it (being a male) So everyone though I was a girl in RL (real life) so they asked me if I was a lesbian. I said yes, and soon after found that this channel had at least 10 lesbians on it, (all real girls too).

My main girlfriend is named Elerla (in game) and she's a lesbian in RL. It turns out we have very much the same fantasies, such as golden showers, scat, anal, and incest. I've personally tried all except incest in RL, I like anal the most. So we have RP sex a lot, She claims she comes at least 6 times, I usually come at least 3. It's really wonderful and has opened my mind to girls, what they like, how they like it and how they act. It's been awesome.

From ACat
I found the internet several years ago, looking for something that I could not find in the real world. I met people on chat lines and personals sites, we chatted and had fun joking around. Then I met the man who has become my husband on a bus... long story, but off the topic.

Cybersex is still a part of my life, my husband knows and it has been something we have talked about, and will no doubt talk about more. I have found that cybering has helped me be more open with him about the things I like, and it has also let me fantasise about the things I would never do in real life. Cybersex has let me be the "Do Em All" girl that I am not in real life, and let me see that those movies of the mind are just a part of the animal side of me. 

I do not need to act all of my fantasies out in real life, when I can set them free in the cyber world, no real danger, no real pain and no real messes to clean up afterwards (except maybe the wet panties).

There are things (in my humble opinion) that can be explored as an exercise for the mind, while never needing to exist in the real world and having input from another mind just makes those explorations more fun. I don't need anyone but my husband in real life for sex, but friends and like minds to talk with are always a good thing. I may even meet some of those friends in real life... but only as friends. Friends are always a good thing I think.

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